Taking Up Space: Presence
Painted in the thick of exploration during the Canopies series, “Presence” was the first large canvas I had ever painted (the original is 48”x60”). To be honest, I’m not sure if painting large was ever a conscious thought until it happened. Up until that point, I was showing work a little and trying to get my name out there, but making most of my money from painting house portraits.
At the time of this writing, 3+ years after making this piece, I still paint those house portraits, by the way :)
We were blessed to be able to live off just my husband’s income (albeit, there was hardly room for much else at the time), and every dime I made from those house portraits would go back into my art account. I’ve always been pretty intuitive and impulsive, so when I had the random itch one day to buy a dozen enormous canvasses from our local art supply store, I trusted it would be the right call. The canvasses sat there for weeks, until “Presence” came along
“Presence” in progress, 2019
The initial reason I painted this was because of the magnolia shadow against the lower left branch. I think it’s pretty common for artists two grab onto that one thing, and when I was looking for inspiration, I found that corner captivating.
One thing I was learning through this series is the tendency for trees to give one another space.
Trees often respect each other’s space so it stuck out to me that a giant magnolia was nestled so close in the arms of this beauty. And It wasn’t only here... we have a small duo growing in my own front yard. I saw it two or three more places around town.
Coincidence? Maybe. Or perhaps, there was some symbiotic relationship happening.
Upon further observation, it was fascinating that the two species couldn’t be any more different. Leaf, structure, bark, the way they each grow.... it’s a marriage, it seems.
This idea of a marriage, or relationship, went on to spur an entire body of work called “June.” It also informed a super fun sketchbook project during grad school titled, “Knotty Trees,” where I assigned features of the oak and magnolia to my husband and I and made honest documentations about our day to day relationship. Check it out here.
“I’m the little spoon,” a page from my sketchbook from the 2020 Knotty Trees series. Read more here!
But there was something else worth noting….
This is a big canvas, and it was the first time I painted a canvas bigger than 48” on a side… and it hit me.
I never asked for permission to do that.
I never was granted allowance to dare take up space.
Neither did that gorgeous oak. She just dug in her roots and sprawled, twisting and majestically worshipping her creator with her branches. She had been doing so for over 400 years. She too never had permission to take up so much space, to shine, to radiate.
That was a breakthrough painting. It’s definitely in my nature to apologize, to wait for permission. To stay quiet, not take up too much space or energy. But to paint big, fast, unapologetically, without permission... now that was freedom! Go ahead, my friend. Do the same.